Humorous Quotations
Eddie Izzard on the Time Team
Stand up comedian visited Britain's Time Team, when they were excavating a Viking period site, and in this bit from Sexie, he describes the experience.
Eddie Izzard on Small Walls
Comedian Eddie Izzard gives his impression of a visit to an archaeological dig.
Douglas Adams on the Importance of Subsistence
An archaeology quote from Douglas Adams' classic Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, on the historical importance of a good diet.
Ambrose Bierce Defines History
Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary is a source of great amusement, even nearly 100 years after its publication. Quite an achievement.
Ambrose Bierce Defines the Past
Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary is a very useful compedium of witty sayings, with a few chucked in about our past.
Anonymous Critics at a Movie Theatre
Not all archaeologists' reactions to the Indiana Jones movies were positive, strangely enough.
Anonymous on Archaeology's Greatest Contribution
An archaeologist who wishes to remain anonymous believes that there is one contribution that each person makes to the future, after all.
Paul Bahn Bluffs his Way in Archaeology
A quote from Paul Bahn, from his hilarious 1989 book "Bluff your way in archaeology."
Bob and Ray's Tips on Keeping a Tidy Museum
From the outrageously silly humor of radio comedians Bob (hang from your thumbs) Elliot and Ray (write if you get work) Goulding, a salient tip on how to keep a tidy museum.
Marcus A. Doel and David B. Clarke on Post-Modern Fatigue Syndrome
Witty geographers Marcus A. Doel and David B. Clarke comment on the ennui brought on by the post-modern generation.
A Classic Insult from Alexander Dumas (pere)
This insult is attributed to the erudite writer of the Count of Monte Cristo.
Indiana Jones on Why Archaeology Makes Poor Movie Plots
Indiana Jones, hmm, where have I heard that name before?
Tea Leoni on How She Almost Became an Anthropologist
The actress Tea Leoni considered a career in anthropology, but her father talked her out of it. Here's how.
George Lucas on Maya Archaeology
This is what archaeologists speculate director George Lucas said when he saw the Maya site of Tikal in 1976.
Domenica Macdonald on the Soft Life of Some Anthropologists
Domenica Macdonald is a fictional anthropologist, the creation of Alexander McCall Smith, in his 44 Scotland Street series, with a very specific viewpoint about her fellow scientists.
Terry Pratchett (B. S. Johnson) on the Future of Architecture
Terry Pratchett's Bergholt Stuttley Johnson, on what buyers should consider about stock in architectural futures.
J. William Schopf on Our Honored Ancestors
Biologist J. William Schopf is credited with this succinct put down to the pride of nations.
Sellar and Yeatman on What History Is
The book written by W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman in 1930 called 1066 and all That, was probably the first of the modern jocular histories of the study of the past.
Carmel Shrire on Why She Became an Archaeologist
South African archaeologist Carmel Shrire is a witty and awesomely talented writer, and here she makes a joke about the best things about archaeology.
Captain Spaulding's Greatest Contribution to Science
Groucho Marx's mad explorer Jeffrey T. Spaulding on what he considers the highlight of his career.
Christine Sullivan on the Real Adventures of Indiana Jones
Christine Sullivan from Melbourne Florida submitted this entry into the 1999 Bulwer Lytton contest; and won the Adventure category.
T.R.Talbott on the Ice Man
A quote on the Ice Man from T.R. Talbott, from a 1997 contest entry of the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest for the best opening sentence of the worst of all possible novels.
Walter Taylor, in Mid-Diatribe
Walter Taylor was, no kidding, one of the most influential archaeologists of the 20th century. But he did tend to rant.
Paul Theroux (Allie Fox) on Evolution's Little Joke
Writer Paul Theroux's character Allie Fox from the Mosquito Coast rants about how evolution has played a dirty trick on him.
Mark Twain on the Investment of Science
Humorist Mark Twain was deeply skeptical of science and scientists--when the occasion called for it.
Bill Watterson Remarks on What Archaeologists Have Always Known
Cartoonist Bill Watterson's Calvin learned all about the romance of archaeology, in his backyard.
Oscar Wilde on our Duty to History
Oscar Wilde's quotes are legion, so it's only fair that there be some on the past.
Oscar Wilde on Inalienable Privileges
Oscar Wilde was a critic and playwright of the 19th century, but his wit continues to inspire us more than a century after his death.