It's like archaeology, archaeology. That's a slow thing, isn't it? It can't be speeded up. Archaeology's got three bloody vowels in the middle! Arch-a-e-ology, I mean what the hell's going on there! Did someone just unload a bunch of vowels in the middle of it?
But the Time Team! We have the Time Team in Britain. Speed archaeology! Archaeologists on the drug speed. And that's what you want. Speed this thing along! Dig, Dig! Cause the normal stuff's kinda slow, then they say we've found stuff! Archaeologists, you found stuff? What have you found, what have you found? Well, give us a toothbrush and ten years and we'll tell you. Give you a toothbrush and ten years and you'll tell me?! What are you, Captain of the Alliteration Club?
It's just, you know, Time Team, I like that, three days and they dig stuff up. They dig dig dig it up, kick it up, where is it! I've dug a big hole! What is it? It's Greek, it's Spanish, it's Venezuelan, I don't know, it's some guy, some dead guy.
I like it, and I went and helped them, I love Time Team! and they had a "celebie come dig a ditchie" type thing and I came and dug a ditchie. And I really dug a ditch! I hadn't dug a ditch all my life! I've never dug a ditch. I never did much ditch digging, you know? I did sand castles and then I did that and I dug. Nothing in it. And that's true archaeology. Sometimes there's nothing in there.
But I wanted to find a hoard of Roman coins, or a sword or a Viking helmet! I'm really, I'm not into archaeology, I'm into piracy!
